Remembering the past

This past summer I sat around with a group of friends and we talked about the early days of Shawn’s accident. Some witnessed it first hand and others only heard about it through others. It is when I recount those events that I am truly amazed by what the brain remembers and retains. Most days I can’t remember anything without putting it in my phone and setting mutilple reminders but that day and the ones following I remember vividly. It brings to mind the old lady from Titanic. She retells her story about how she can remember the smell of the fresh paint after 84 years. It certainly hasn’t been that long but after 6 years, I remember what I wore that day, what Shawn and I had for lunch, the smell of the ICU and every word spoken to me about his condition. I remember the feeling like I was going to pass out, the feeling of absolute denial and that I was in a dream and none of it was actually happening.  To this day, I feel the same overwhelming grief I felt that day, when I retell the events surrounding the accident .  Why would such trauma make our brain hold on to these memories that never leave yet the happiest days and times of our lives, like when are children are born and growing up, seem like a blur?

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