Today is Boxing Day and its usually a day I annually suffer the holiday blues. I was especially dreading this Christmas Day because it just looks so different for me now. I am at the stage of my life where this is no young children and no grandchildren so the magic of excited children has disappeared for a while. Add to the fact that my husband and my mother are both now in Long Term Care.  Last Christmas Shawn was in LTC but my mom was in a retirement home so she was still mobile enough to transfer herself, cognitive awareness and was continent. It was a day of pickups and drop offs and I did still managed to do all the Christmas morning traditions, Santa pancakes, afternoon apps and Turkey dinner with all the fixings. I knew all of this was special for my family so I made it happen for their sake. Even though it was so overwhelming for me. I remember last Boxing Day when I spent the day in a total depression that I had to be proactive this year.  

I learned some hard lessons this year about myself. I’ve spent my life being a people pleaser to my own detriment. I needed to make some changes to how much I take on at Christmas and still be able to have wonderful memories and not be sad that our Christmas looks so different than anyone else’s. We don’t have the big family dinners and we don’t have the hustle and bustle of having to do multiple Christmases and I used to think that was what Christmas was about but it isn’t. I finally see it. The day is what you make of it and I have to say I had the most perforce and amazing Christmas this year and so did my family!! I had no stress, no planning meals, no kitchen clean-up…it was absolutely perfect. 

Christmas morning, I volunteered with my youngest at the LTC Home coffee shop., We surprised the any residents that we have gotten to know. Everyone was laughing and singing Christmas carols and just overall happy to have some Christmas cheer.  

Then we brought Shawn and my mom home with the help of my son since its tricky getting my mom in and out of a vehicle now. Luckily I still have a plethora of wheelchairs so that we could use a folding chair with her.  Having them both home does mean that we will gave to perform personal care which can get tricky since Shawn needs the use of a lift and I don’t have any supplies the house . Prior to leaving with Shawn out the door with Shawn we discovered that he was already wet. (issues with his condom catheter coming off have been an issue since he moved in LTC. That’s a whole other post about handing over control after being in control of thee care for 14 years). Anyways, so we had to wait for him to be changed. I then got a text from my son, that had taken my mom to our house already, that my mom needed the bathroom. I told him that we got held up with Shawn being wet but I would help her as soon as I got back. In the meantime I got some briefs for her because chances were she would need them since I was still going to be a bit.  I finally get home and my daughter, who is a nurse, toileted my mom and did her changing.  The afternoon continued with present opening and everyone had a great time. We set up some facetimes with family for my mom and then the plan was to drop her back at the home. Shawn was going to say with the kids and I and go to Red Lobster for dinner. Yes, you heard that right!!! Red Lobster for dinner was the best idea I ever had.  So as we getting my mom ready to drop her back and off and just head to the restaurant, Shawn is wet again and there is a massive pool of urine on the floor.  This means not a quick change but a complete wipe down of him, chair, cushion etc. I had to take him back for that because I am physically unable to provide that extensive of personal care. We have about 30 minutes at this point to get him back and changed and then to the restaurant. Needless to say we were late for the reservation LOL. We had a fantastic time at dinner with our kids and their partners.  We dropped Shawn off and went home with the kids. I am so grateful for our day.