I sit down at my computer to finish plans and confirm plans that we have for a family trip we have coming up. As I sit here, I find myself thinking about why sometimes I feel like I need to justify our trips. I know I shouldn’t have to explain to anyone why we are going away again but I do. Should I stop and look around at who I am explaining this to and sort of realize they are the problem not us.
Anyone who feels resentful or even jealous that we are able to take a trips are the ones with the problem because they don’t see the big picture. I once wrote an entry for my blog, after a few drinks I might add, that was to do with this exact situation because some comments had been made about this very subject. I never posted what I wrote in my blog because it was written out of anger and I thought that was not appropriate. However, I am going to share it but with an edited, toned down version. It obviously was something that was bothering me at the time and as much as I should not have to explain anything, it should be something that is said.
I don’t know why but I still seem to get fascinated and frustrated by the comments made by some people around us.
To the outsider they look and see “hey, they can buy a new house” or ” it must be nice to go on vacation” but at what cost did material things come at. If your loved one lost the ability to ever walk again, would you not at the very least, expect that life could grant them some comfort. Could you possibly understand what it must be like for Shawn to never really get fresh air in these cold winters because with all the snow his wheelchair can’t drive through it? So is getting out of the cold wweather for a measly 1 or 2 weeks a year a privledge? To call someone lucky in this type of situation, that they can go away to somewhere warm each year, is disgusting. Yes, we do get to go away somewhere warm each winter but we will never know what is like to experience something so simple like walking hand and hand along the beach. How about it taking months to plan that vacation because you can never just have a quick getaway to a beach resort in the Caribbean? It is pretty much out of the question for us because we need to have access to medical equipment not offered in the south or even have a guaranteed wheelchair accessible room. They do not have the same rights to disabled travellers down there. Would you book a vacation where you were not guaranteed access to a bathroom or even a shower? So anyone who calls us lucky for a life that allows us to take a vacation each year better look at what was sacrificed to allow that vacation to even take place. I know lots of people that take regular vacations so why is it such a topic of conversation that we do? Of course, there are those that we care about and cherish more than anything and those are the ones that would never for a second look at our situation and think any of these thoughts. They know that whatever happiness and fun we can find is something that we should have and deserve to make up for all the crappy stuff that has happened and still does happen.
Life As A Caregiver 