Parenting Together con’t

I can’t believe it has been over a year since I updated this blog.  Yes, life definitely gets easier, well maybe not easier but more of a routine/auto pilot kind of thing.  I decided to continue this topic of parenting because it really is a struggle and the more our youngest gets older the more noticeable the lack of attachment is.  We actually saw a youth counsellor to try and get a better idea of how we can reinforce the relationship.  For years I would try and get Shawn to be more of a disciplinarian because he was always so lenient and I think a lot of that had to do with overcompensating for what he couldn’t do.  Well now that has taken a 360 and he is on the opposite end where it is almost like knit picky and always criticizing everything the kids do.  The brain injury makes grey areas very hard to grasp and he sees things in black and white.
So we went to the counsellor and I have to say that it was not that useful for us unfortunately.  All we got out of it was the attachment that children develop for their parents/caregivers is missing because it never happened at a young age.  Shawn spent many hours doing rehab and recovering when our youngest was little.  Even though I tried very hard to create that bond it just didn’t happen.  The counsellor recommended in situations when an older children needs to develop a bond with a caregiver, step-parents etc they do some attachment therapy.  However, in our situation it would not necessarily work because of Shawn’s physical and cognitive limitations.  So we decided that the best way would be to remind our son that his dad has been there and played with him (in his own unique way) and has been loving his whole life.  She suggested a photo book but I thought a video slideshow may be more something that he would enjoy and can watch regularly.  Being a parent with a brain injury brings a lot of challenges for sure but parenting with a spouse with a brain injury brings even more!

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